Tuesday, April 30, 2013

More Wisdom: Am I thoughtful of where the other is coming from? (Part 4)


Being people who love peace means that I think about what I am aiming for in my relationships - no matter the nature of that relationship. So, in the previous post I suggested that the Book of James wants us simply to ask the question: Am I Aiming at Reconciliation?

To be people who love peace also requires us to be considerate.

An image of being considerate
James puts it like this: It (the wisdom from above) thinks of others (3:17). And so perhaps the way for me to get at that is to ask, "Am I thoughtful of where the other is coming from?"

So how do we be considerate? What does that look like in the heat of an argument or when dealing with someone who brings out the worst side of yourself?

To be considerate means trying to get at the heart of what another person feels. It means no one-up-man-ship. It often looks like silence, even when you are wanting to verbally pounce. It looks like a head slightly tilted with an ear cocked straining to listen.

Have you ever shared with someone about something really wonderful that happened to you in your day, and they respond with one better? Or you share something bad that happened, and he says, “Yeah, well that’s nothing, let me tell you what happened to me!” Or in an argument you hear your partner say, "I'm tired of picking up after you," and then you hear yourself respond by saying (screaming), "Yeah, well, you leave your stuff laying around, too!"

Being considerate is really about being serious to look at the matter from the other’s perspective, to genuinely try it on for yourself. Am I taking a moment to try and step into your shoes for a moment, to feel what you feel?

Do you remember the movie Jerry McGuire?  Kuba Gooding Jr’s character, a football player, would say to Tom Cruise, his agent, and more often to his wife, “You feel me Jerry?” Do you feel what someone else is feeling, or at least allowing enough space to really try?

Being considerate means getting inside the other person and simply asking, “Am I thoughtful of where the other person is coming from?”

That's a question only you can answer. And if the answer is, Yes, then not only will you be living into the teaching of James, you'll experience genuinely healthy relationships with the people who make you crazy.

15 comments:

  1. In response to: "It often looks like silence, even when you are wanting to verbally pounce" Keeping silent is really tough for me and I often wonder why?.....Why do I feel compelled to respond like this, even though I know that my issues have no bearing on the conflict at hand....the sooner I learn to shut up gracefully the sooner I find myself walking away guilt free from confrontation....

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am curious to find out what blog system you're using? I'm having some minor security problems with my latest website and I'd like to find something more safeguarded. Do you have any suggestions?

    Feel free to surf to my website: microsoft email templates

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's awesome to pay a visit this web page and reading the views of all mates about this article, while I am also zealous of getting experience.

    My site ... Creative Email Signatures

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey there! Do you use Twitter? I'd like to follow you if that would be ok. I'm absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new posts.


    My weblog :: email templates

    ReplyDelete
  8. If some one wishеs eхpert vieω on the tοpiс of blogging anԁ site-building then і
    recommend him/her to ρay a quісk visit
    this weblog, Keеp up the gooԁ work.


    Reviеω mу homepagе - asian bridal makeup artist london

    ReplyDelete
  9. I've been surfing online more than 3 hours lately, yet I never discovered any fascinating article like yours. It's
    beautiful value sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all website owners and bloggers
    made just right content material as you probably did, the internet will
    be much more useful than ever before.

    my blog post - email newsletters templates

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm now not certain where you're getting your information, but good topic.
    I needs to spend a while studying more or figuring out more.

    Thank you for fantastic information I was looking for this info for my mission.


    My page print out birthday cards

    ReplyDelete
  11. When I originally left a comment I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time
    a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment.
    Is there a means you can remove me from that service? Appreciate it!


    My page: http://theglobalthreat.com/groups/email-templates-methods-to-improve-you...

    ReplyDelete
  12. It's actually a nice and useful piece of information. I am happy that you simply shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

    Also visit my page thrive

    ReplyDelete
  13. My brother recommended I might like this
    website. He was once totally right. This submit truly made my day.

    You can not believe just how a lot time I had spent
    for this info! Thank you!

    Here is my page :: emergency loans

    ReplyDelete
  14. Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I find
    It truly useful & it helped me out a lot. I hope
    to give something back and help others like you aided me.


    Here is my site - Free email marketing service

    ReplyDelete
  15. We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in
    our community. Your site provided us with useful info to
    work on. You have performed a formidable process and our whole group will likely be
    grateful to you.

    Review my blog post :: visit the up coming site - -

    ReplyDelete